Alumni
By: Lance Holloway

	
	"Touchdown, Arkansas!" yelled the announcer over the PA system in
the Razorback Stadium.  The Arkansas Razorbacks had made their fourth
touchdown against Auburn's one field goal.

	I put my saxophone's mouthpiece to my lips and played the fight
song with the rest of the alumni band.  The red Razorback mascots danced
around the field.  It was great to be back in the band for at least a day.
The Hogs were winning and the crowd was into the game.

	The referee called a TV time out, and I had to make a break for
the bathroom.  I asked the girl next to me to watch my saxophone, and I
headed under the stands.

	There was a huge line at the public bathroom.  Fortunately, I
found two cheerleaders, one guy and one girl, coming out of their locker
room.  I asked the guy if I could use their restroom.  They both looked at
my alumni band shirt and said, "Sure" simultaneously.

	"Cheerleaders are surely weird," I thought to myself as I went
into the empty locker room.  I maneuvered myself around props and pom-poms
to get to the men's restroom in the back.

	I finished my business and went to the sink to wash up.  There was
something black on my hands that wouldn't come off.  No matter how hard I
scrubbed it didn't wash off.

	Frustrated, I looked around to see if there was any extra strength
soap.  However, I caught a glance at myself in the mirror.  Red fur was
growing all over my face, and my ears were sticking out more than usual.

	"What the?" I asked.

	"Oh, come on now," a voice said behind me.  I spun around and saw
a green furry shape.  It was Murnel from the second Articulum story I was
working on.  He was perched on the table under the window.

	"Huh?" I managed to get out of my deforming mouth.

	Murnel jumped off the table and approached me. "You know very well
what is happening to you.  This story is so obvious."

	"I don't know what you are talking about," I said.

	"Lance, Lance, Lance.  Do you honestly believe that I would
believe that?  Look, you aren't even describing stuff very well.  This is
obviously a quick story you want to get out to the list."

	I started to say something else, but the surprise of the tusks
jutting from my mouth stopped me.  The fact that Murnel interrupted also
stopped me.

	"Look, you could be writing on the sequel to 'The Articulum,' but
no.  You had to write this silly story."

	"But, it's my anniversary story," I managed to get in before the
green creature continued.

	"I don't care.  I want to get written.  You've already made a
costume of me.  Why can't you finish the story I'm in?"

	I looked down at the floor.  "I have writer's block."

	"Yeah, whatever," he said and started pacing.  "How about this?
You can finish living out this story, and I will go and write on 'The
Articulum.'  That way I can get my parts correct."

	"Sounds good," I said.

	"Good.  Now finish your obvious transformation and I'll finish the
great story."  With that, he climbed out the window and flew off.

	I turned back to the mirror to see what I missed.  My face was
already covered with red fur.  My nose was a pig's snout with two large
tusks sticking out.  My eyes were huge!  I looked down at my hands.  They
were four-fingered black hoof-like hands.  My arms and legs were covered
in the red fur, and a twisting tail poked out of a hole in my pants.  I
was a razorback.  I looked exactly like what the mascot suit out on the
field looks like.  Except I still had my blue jeans and alumni band shirt
on instead of a football uniform.

	"Darn it.  Murnel made me miss the whole transformation sequence,"
I said.  Getting on with the story, I continued looking at myself in the
mirror in wonder.

	"Hey!  What are you doing in here?" another voice said behind me.
I turned around and saw it was the head cheerleader.  "You are supposed to
be out on the field."

	"But, I'm not...."

	"You're not supposed to talk," she said.  "Now get out there."

	I nodded and walked out the door.  I headed for the ramp to the
alumni band section.  No one was around under the stands.  The game must
have started again.  An usher stopped me at the ramp.

	"Are you Lance?" he asked?

	I nodded.  "Yes.  How did you know?"

	"That green thing over there wanted me to stop you so he can talk
with you."

	I turned around, and Murnel was perched on the metal support.

	"What does he want?" I asked the usher.

	"When a guy in a Razorback suit starts talking to a green flying
thing, I don't want to know," he said and backed up.

	I walked close to Murnel, and he glided down.

	"Lance, I have big trouble."

	"What?  I'm trying to finish this story.  You already made me miss
the transformation."

	Murnel seemed panicked.  "Sorry.  Sorry.  But...."

	"There you are!" yelled a high pitched evil voice.  Appearing
around the corner of the snack bar, walked Sorrora the witch from "The
Articulum."

	"Oh no," I said.  Murnel had already ran behind a trashcan for
shelter.

	Sorrora didn't waste any time.  She pulled out a crystal and threw
it at me.  I ducked just in time.  The crystal passed me, and I heard an
"ouch" followed by a few rips of clothing.

	I turned around and saw a kangaroo in an usher's vest hopping
away.

	"There's the kangaroo transformation in *this* anniversary story,"
I said.

	"That won't be the last transformation."  Sorrora raised her wand.
"I know that is you, Lance.  Turning yourself into a Razorback wasn't the
best of disguises."

	"But, I didn't...."

	"Yeah, whatever," she said and pointed the wand at me.  "Now you
will pay for having me get turned into a kangaroo."

	"It was only for a few weeks."

	"So what."  She zapped a few lightning bolts at me.  I did a few
flips and dodges that I didn't know I could do to avoid getting hit by her
beam.

	"Stop moving around.  I'm going to make bacon out of you."  She
continued to zap.

	"Murnel!  You were writing her.  Now write something to get me out
of this!" I yelled dodging a few more bolts.

	Murnel pulled out a laptop from nowhere and started typing.  I
could hear him talking to himself.  "Sorrora said, 'Take this you swine.'
She shot...."

	Sorrora said, "Take this you swine."  She shot another bolt out
and it struck me in the back.

	"Murnel!" I yelled.

	"Sorry, Lance.  Typo," he said and went back to typing.

	"Well, hurry up and... and... fix... the... thing....... that...."
I trailed off. I couldn't keep my thoughts straight.  I noticed that my
red fur had fallen out.  Gray skin was underneath.  I felt taller and
stronger.  I looked at Sorrora and she was grinning.  I felt happy because
Sorrora was pleased.  I could not stop these thoughts even though I had
idea what had happened.  Sorrora had turned me into a trullum, one of her
servants.

	"Come, trullum.  We have some writing to correct," Sorrora said
turning.  She walked away and I helplessly followed.

	"Lance!  I'll try to fix it!" I heard Murnel shouting behind me.
Maybe he could, but the original author under the mind-controlling spell
of the evil character may be too powerful for Murnel's writing.

	I followed behind Sorrora as she walked to a shimmering portal.  I
knew it lead back to the world I created in "The Articulum" where Sorrora
had a keyboard waiting for me.  Suddenly, she stopped.  She spun around.
"Trullum!  Get that flying beast!"

	"Yes, Mistress," I said and turned back to get Murnel.  I heard
Sorrora groaning behind me.  I looked back, and saw a kangaroo in her
robes.  Murnel had written her to change into a kangaroo.  This angered
me.

	I charged at the creature.  He looked up at me for a second, and
then went back to typing on the laptop.  "With the witch changed back into
a kangaroo, the spell over Lance was broken."

	I stopped in my tracks.  Murnel was fixing it!  I look at him and
muttered, "Murnel help?  Me trullum."

	"Lance, don't worry.  I've already taken care of that.  I wrote
that you change back in a few moments," he said and put his hand up to his
chin and stroked the red whiskers.  With a slight grin, he began typing
again.

	I felt myself changing again.  Red fur covered my gray skin, and I
felt my head get larger.  I was a mascot-like razorback again.

	Murnel continued typing though.  I walked toward him.  "What are
you typing now?"

	"Nothing," he said and closed the laptop.  "I'll go and let you
finish this story."

	"Gee, thanks a lot.  You already made me miss the
human-to-razorback transformation, you wrote Sorrora into this story, and
I almost became her slave!"

	"I'm sorry," he said.  "I was up to her part, and she became too
real."

	"Well, I don't think this story is going anywhere.  I'm going to
go ahead and end it."

	Murnel looked surprised.  "Wait.... You can't.... I wrot...."

	I had already typed "The End" in the word processor in real life.
The story was over.  "I wonder what Murnel was going to say before I cut
him off."

	I clicked "save" and reached over to the floppy drive to take out
the backup disk.  Then I noticed that I still had red fur.  I reached up
and felt the distinct razorback features of my head.

"Murnel!"

The End