The New Wigamalefis
A No More Fakes Story


	I was looking forward to Halloween this year.  I had this great
costume that I had made this summer.  I was feeling bored and I get
creative when I'm bored.  And, I've always wanted a full body costume of
my own.  So, I designed an odd looking creature.  It was sort of a mix of
different animals.  It had a large head with moose type antlers, a boar
snout, and small elephant shaped ears.  The hands were cylindrical shaped
with four fingers sticking out from the "edges".  The feet were flipper
like and the tail was dolphin like.  The back, head, and arms were
covered with blue fur, and the rest was slightly fuzzy blue material.  I
put a flap of white material on the front to be the belly fur and also to
cover up the zipper.  I added a few extra touches such as two ridges
running down the back meeting at the tail, and some long black fur for a
mane on the back of the head.  I even made the mouth movable if I open my
mouth.  The completed costume looked perfect.

	I even developed a background story for him.  He is a wigamalefis
from another planet.  He somehow ended up on Earth during the testing of
an experimental teleporter on his planet.  He is partial aquatic, so he
is an excellent swimmer and can stay under water for about 30 minutes.
He can understand English fluently, but his language is pretty guttural.
Mostly growls and grunts.  But he has managed to pronounce a few English
words.  His name is not pronounceable by humans, so everybody calls him
Wiggy (short for wigamalefis).

	This Halloween is going to be great.  There is going to be a huge
party at the Raucous Chicken Club.  Sandy is going to be there.  I think
she will love my costume.

	Halloween night, I got in my Wiggy costume.  It looked great!  I
was about to leave, when I realized that I couldn't go out "naked."  So,
I grabbed a pair of shorts and put them on over the costume.  Now I even
have pockets to put my car keys and wallet in.  I made it to the party
safely.  I was wondering if I would a few times.  Driving with large
flipper feet isn't easy.

	The party was wonderful.  I ran into Sandy there.  She was dressed
as a zoo keeper.  When she spotted me, she came right over.  "Is that
you, Will?" she asked.

	I grunted and nodded trying to stay in character.  One of the
rules of being in a mascot type costume is not to speak or remove the
head.

	"I knew it.  It suits your style.  Where did you get it?"

	I pointed at my self, trying to say I made it.

	"What?  You?  You made it?"

	I nodded again.

	"Wow!  That's amazing.  I didn't know you could sew.  Aren't you
hot in that?"

	I gave a huge nod this time.

	"Why don't we go outside where it is cooler?"

	We headed for the door.  Just then we heard someone shout, "I've
had it with this roomful of FAKES!"  We turned around in time to see a
someone dressed as a wizard disappear in a puff of smoke.  A chill ran
through me.

	"Wow, some people really get into their parts," said Sandy as we
went outside.

	It was cooler outside.  I was burning up inside the club.  The
night air really helps.  Sandy seemed to be concentrating on my tail.
"Did you even put a motor or something in the tail?" she asked.

	I shook my head.

	"Well, why is it moving?"

	I turned to see.  And sure enough, the tail was moving.  When I
though about it, I could control the movements.  Sort of like breathing.

	"What is going on?" I tried to ask, but all that came out was
growls and grunts.  I tried to take off the head, but it wouldn't move.
It was MY head now!  From inside the club we heard screams.  We ran
inside and saw everybody trying to take off their costumes.  Everybody
had been transformed into what they were dressed as.  Even the guy
dresses as a ghost was now a partially transparent floating mass.

	Then a strange feeling came over me for just an instant.  "Why
wasn't I transformed?" I thought to myself.  "I came to the party dressed
up as a human.  Now, my costume is gone and I'm standing here in just my
shorts."

	Sandy grabbed my arm.  "Will, what's wrong?  Are you ok?" she asked.

	I was confused then.  "Why was she calling me by my costume name?
I'm not even wearing it right now," I thought.  Luckily I picked up on
sign language.  "Why are you calling me Will?" I signed.  "I'm Wiggy,
remember.  I'm not in my costume anymore for some strange reason."

	She understood my sign language.  I guess she is more like her zoo
keeper costume now.  "What are you talking about?" she asked.  "This is
your costume.  Remember?  You are human."

	Then the strange feeling came over me again.  I signed, "I know
I'm human.  But it seems that now I'm stuck in this wigamalefis costume."

	"Why did you just say you were Wiggy not Will?" she asked.

	"I didn't say that," I signed.  A minotaur still trying to take
his head off bumped into me.  That's when I noticed the crowd again.  It
was beginning to get hysterical.  I even thought I saw a vampire try to
bite someone.  I grabbed Sandy by the arm and ran outside.  She didn't
resist.

	"I'm glad we're out of there," she said when we got in the car.  I
stared driving to my house.  "Now, why did you say you were Wiggy and not
Will?" she asked again.

	"I don't know what you are talking about?" I struggled signing
while driving.  "I said, 'Why did you call me Wiggy?'"

	"Whatever.  We can talk about it when we get to your house.  I
know it is hard to drive and sign."

	"I don't know why Sandy is confused about what I said," I thought
to myself. The strange feeling came again.  "She knows that I am Wiggy.
I don't think there are many wigamalefi around for her to confuse me
with.  When we got to my house I got my keys out of my pocket and opened
the door.  "It's a good thing my shorts didn't disappear with the rest of
my costume," I signed.

	"There you go again," she said walking inside.  "You might be
stuck in that costume, but you don't have to act like it is your body."

	"But it is my body."

	"No it isn't, Will!"

	"Wiggy."

	A sudden realization seemed to cross her face.  "No, it couldn't
have," she said to herself.  "Being turned into this wigamalefis couldn't
have affected your mind.  Could it?"

	"I've always been a wigamalefis."

	"No, you haven't.  You were human before the party.  Don't you
remember?"

	"I remember I dressed up as a human for the party.  And let me
tell you it wasn't easy hiding this tail."

	The strange feeling came again.  "But, now I'm stuck in this blue
furry animal body."

	Sandy looked surprised.  "You said you were stuck as a wigamalefis
just now.  Didn't you?"

	"Yeah."

	"Do you know that you used to be a human?"

	"Of course."

	"Will, I think that the transformation has caused you to have a
split personality."

	"What?"

	"Do you remember our conversation from when we came inside."

	"Yeah.  You kept saying that I was really this wigamalefis."

	"That's just it.  I have been saying that you are human.  YOU were
saying you were a wigamalefis."

	"So, you are saying that my other personality is Wiggy.  But, I
remember the whole thing."

	"But you remember it wrong."

	"So, somehow my mind is switching between two personalities.  Both
are conscience, but only one is predominate.  That is how I remember the
conversation Wiggy was carrying, but I interpreted it wrong.  Is that
what you are getting at?"

	"I guess.  I'm not sure.  You are probably the only one who would
really know."

	"Well, hopefully I won't be a wigamalefis forever.  I have to go
to work, you know.  Not everybody knows sign language."

	Sandy looked at her watch.  "It is getting pretty late.  I need to
go to sleep.  Can I sleep on the couch?  I would go home, but we left my
car at the party."

	"I'll take the couch," I signed.  "You can sleep in the bed.  It's
not like I need any blankets with this fur."

	Sandy went in my bedroom.  "Good night, Will," she said closing
the door.

	"Good night," I grunted in my wigamalefis language.

To be continued.